Digitale Aphorismen.

Semi-geistreiche Weisheiten aus der digitalen Kommunikation - stark inspiriert von Stand-Up Gott Steven Wright.

  • Is there a public post icon for "flat earthers"?
  • The 7 deadly sins: Netflix, Lieferando, Instagram, X, Amazon, Tinder, Linkedin
  • Twitter banned me because they thought I was a bot, X reinstated me because I am.
  • The I in TEAM is the A-hole.
  • Buying followers is like faking your own orgasm.
  • Making money from X for fake content in order to pay X to promote fake content.
  • The “success” of your Influencer campaign is proportional to their Fake Follower ratio.
  • An AI conclusio is the place where you got tired of thinking.
  • If your Social Media posts don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
  • If you can't fix your brakes, make your horn louder.
  • Start-ups may soar, but SMEs don't get sucked into jet engines.
  • What happens if you lose half of your fake followers twice?
  • If Influencers are so popular, why do they have to buy friends?
  • Vision pays off in the future - Realism pays off now.
  • "Fear of Missing Out" is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
  • Resignation is frustration with style.
  • If Social Media seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
  • A clear reporting is usually the sign of a bad memory.
  • If you praise the rainbow, you got to put up with the shitstorm.
  • 99% of influencers give the rest a bad name.
  • I deleted my social media to live in the moment. Then I reinstalled it to post about living in the moment.
  • AI will never replace humans... unless efficiency, accuracy, and logic become priorities.
  • I tried being an influencer, but my cat got more engagement than me.
  • I trust influencers because they’d never lie… unless the brand pays them to.
  • I fed an AI my entire browsing history. Now it just sends me ads for therapy.
  • I bought a product because an influencer told me to. Now I’m waiting for them to tell me how to use it.
  • I tried reading a book, but it had no comments section.
  • I asked ChatGPT for life advice. It gave me 10 options and said, ‘Choose wisely.’
  • They say influencers are on equal footing. That's why they fly in private jets at an altitude of 11,000 meters.
  • AI doesn’t have emotions… but neither does my boss, and he still makes decisions.
  • I spent an hour crafting the perfect post, but only got two likes. One was from me. The other was from myself.
  • I let AI write my wedding vows. My spouse left me for the algorithm.
  • I have 5,000 friends online. I just wish one of them would help me move.
  • If you think no one cares about your progress, try missing a few deadlines.
  • My business budget is like an onion. Every time I cut it, it makes me cry.
  • The path to success is constantly evolving, but the infrastructure is under construction.
  • I’m on a productivity boost plan. I’ve wasted a few hours already.
  • A clean financial report is usually a sign of missed opportunities.
  • There is a “suc” in “success”.
  • Borrow from pessimists in business - they don’t expect you to pay back.
  • The early bird catches the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
  • All those who believe in corporate synergy, raise my hand.
  • OK, so what’s the ROI on ambiguity?
  • Unfocused ambition is merely wasted energy without execution.
  • Ambition is a poor excuse for lacking a plan.

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